


Collapsing from you (short)

by Practicemakesperfect



Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [6]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drug Addiction, Drug use and relapse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Short, baeksoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practicemakesperfect/pseuds/Practicemakesperfect
Summary: Sometimes, love means letting go.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Series: Baeksoo Oneshots (/short stories/drabbles) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030035
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Collapsing from you (short)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago. The shortened version of a fic I’ll never write.

This is how it ends.

Crying. Screaming. A shot and a secret, an argument. Baekhyun knows this. He knows better than to do this again and again, hurt him again and again, and yet—

“You promised.”

“I know.”

This is how it ends. 

He just doesn’t know how to stop it.

—

The person he is kissing isn’t Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun registers this in the back of his mind, somewhere beyond the haze of a high. His fingertips trail the sharp edges of jawline, down and down, lower until they reach underneath fabric. God, this is stupid, maybe, but God does it feel so good, everything is more and Baekhyun just feels it all.

He doesn’t know why he does it. But afterwards the drug is gone and it’s just him. Regret. Guilt. He takes it all home.

Kyungsoo looks up worriedly when he comes into their room, tired eyes and ruffled hair. “Where were you?”

Baekhyun almost laughs. What a terrible person he is. The first thing he felt wasn’t guilt, but fear. He knows. He knows. But of course he doesn’t, and Baekhyun feels it again, resentment towards himself. “I was working late,” he lies. He goes over to where Kyungsoo sits and puts his arms around him, kisses him on the top of his head. “I love you,” he says. It isn’t a lie. Maybe that’s what makes it hurt so much.

“I love you, too.”

—

As far as anyone knows, Baekhyun has been clean for two months.

Kyungsoo picked him up from rehab, fresh and ready for a new start. Baekhyun was so relieved to be back. Family, friends. The love of his life, all supportive and willing to help in any way they could. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint them. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint himself.

But it hurt. It hurt so bad. And he tried, he really did, but he couldn’t do it. It was his secret. If he told anyone... if anyone found out...

That scares Baekhyun the most.

—

“You really...”

“I know. I promise I’ll try harder. I don’t know why I did it again. I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun can’t stand the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes. He looks away. 

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo reaches out and turns Baekhyun’s head. “I love you. I love you and that will never change. But please... if you need help, get it. You’re not weak for asking for help. It’s probably the bravest thing you could do.”

Baekhyun swallows. He feels like crying, but he won’t cry. Not here, not now. “Okay,” he promises. “I will.”

—

Kyungsoo already knows this is bad for him. 

He doesn’t need Jongdae to keep saying it. _Breakup with him. He isn’t good for you. He isn’t getting better. You know he’s lying to you and you’re just letting him._

Yes. Kyungsoo knows. But he can’t leave him. He can’t. It would hurt more than this ever could.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do anymore. It’s a constant state of worry, of anger, of hiding his feelings because he’s scared.

“Where were you?”

Are you telling the truth?

The answer, Kyungsoo knows, is probably not what he wants to hear.

—

“I can’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo, please.” Baekhyun is terrified of Kyungsoo’s expression. He’s never seen him look like this, angry and lost, trying. “I promise I’ll—“

“I promise. I promise. You’re always promising me things, Baekhyun. But when are you going to tell the truth?”

You don’t want to hear it.

All he can say is, “I’m sorry.”

—

This is how it ends.

Baekhyun doesn’t beg him to stay. He doesn’t ask him for anything. He doesn’t deserve to.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Kyungsoo says, and it’s heartbreaking, the plead in his voice. “We can’t keep doing this. Please, get help. If not for me, then do it for yourself.”

“I will,” Baekhyun answers.

He knows this is the end for them. He knows that it is better this way. He wishes he could be better.

They part ways and he remembers why he tried in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who doesn’t know what this is and would like to know the full story (plot summary,) see: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638278
> 
> (Also called Collapsing from You)


End file.
